I Mean, If You Can't Laugh at the Internet...  

Posted by Wayne Bretski in

I have to start with this little gem: this kid MISSES THE OCEAN. Seriously.

This Onion headline caught my attention being set in Des Moines, like any other Onion article it's hysterical. Reprinted in full:

USA Today Crossword Puzzle Grants False Sense of Intelligence

DES MOINES, IA—Forty-five minutes after sitting down with a cup of coffee and the USA Today crossword, local window fashions salesman Tom Dolan completed the puzzle's last three open squares and was filled with a sense of intellectual accomplishment.

Though he admitted to consulting the Internet for the tougher clues, such as "a Kentucky liquor aged in oak barrels," Dolan, 38, credited the successful completion to his amazing ability to follow word-based clues. "The clue said 'Charlie's' blank," Dolan said. "It took a little while, but I realized that it was 'Angels.' That was my Rosemary Stone for unlocking the rest of the puzzle."

Dolan's confidence in his superior cerebral faculties faltered slightly after he noticed the adjacent Sudoku grid, but then he realized that it was rated "hard" and was immediately relieved of the pressure to solve it.

And here in good old Phoenix the other day, a 22 year old fan painted Sedona red from the waist up was tossed from Chase Field for drunkenly swearing at other patrons, came back for some reason, and was arrested for trespassing. Still painted red.


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